How “Single” Should Look Like

“If you were saved from a relationshit, then you should learn to appreciate it.”

Not that I am being very cynical about your reasons of being single, but at some point, there was a reason why you are single. Maybe for days, months and for some – years.

When you are in a middle of a broken heart, whether it’s a good break up or not, you’d (at some point) cry for awhile, would think what went wrong and would utter prayers such as “Why?”.

Break up is one of the most tear jerking moments of your life, thinking it has no end. That the pain inside is unlimited, that you won’t know where to start – a life that might have died, even while still in the relationship.

For me, though being in a relationship is good and satisfying, it is during my single hood that I became a better person. The time when I explore the side of me, I never knew and the moment I get to experience a life, I know, that will change and be different, once I’d settle into a relationship.

Single life is also a gift. A gift that was wrapped in a mirror – it reflects what’s in its environment – adapting what surrounds it and you have to look at it and appreciate your own reflection first, before you get to open and appreciate what’s within.

Some people dreaded this gift because it can cause some hurt in their eyes when they look at it because sometimes, it reflects the sunlight.

Some wouldn’t like this gift because they don’t like what they see when they look at it – their own reflection.

There is something weird in this gift because of how it looks like. When it’s in a dark room, it’ll also look dark to the point of not even noticing it. It sort of camouflages and adapts to it’s environment.

On the other hand, when surrounded by a sunny garden, flowers and beautiful things, it does shows that lively spirit too. When you put your single hood gift in an energy of positivity, that is what you’d also gain from it. If you dwell on things otherwise, you’d also get that negative vibes.

Being single should be experienced in a passionate manner too. I never thought one can be passionate with life without their other half. I can’t help but remember a Youtube video entitled, “When the missing piece, meets the big, O”.

 You have to know how to roll on your own and be that “complete” being, to be able to appreciate this gift.

But, the question here is, how?

By choosing yourself, over and over again. 

When you are single, you never stop dating, going to places and meet new people. And when you stumble upon someone that can guarantee confusion and complications in the long run, learn to choose your own happiness over the idea of just being in a relationship, just to satisfy your longing to having a partner – even if it’s less than what you’ve dreamed about. The “good” will always be the “best”‘s rival in your life.

Being single entitles you to be strong, amidst those temptations and you should choose yourself (and also your future) again and again. A future that you have embedded in your mind. A standard that you’ve settled for yourself.

Waiting for the right time is as crucial too as accepting this gift because patience is something that is incorporated in this gift.

People would sometimes forget to savor the moment and would jump into another relationship without really appreciating and enjoying this gift of single hood.

I’m not saying that someone should wait for a lifetime, like the story of Love Rosie by Cecelia Ahern type of waiting but just enough when you know and have uttered, “Yes, this is what I want and I am choosing this life.”

At times it can be a detour, that entails getting lost along the way. Uncertainty can also blur your mind into something you thought was nice, but wasn’t. Sometimes, you can be blinded – Salt looks a lot like sugar too and not all glittery are gold.

Being single must be perceived as a gift and not as a curse. Get to learn from it, savor every minute of it and become that one whole piece of gold that will be sought after by a lot of people. Not because of your glitter but because of your soul and who you really are as a person. This is the time of your life when you will be in connection with your inner self and not all people were given this chance of a lifetime.

Getting Back on Track

After last year’s blast, I thought I’d never feel lost again. I thought I’ve conquered myself enough and thus, when I felt the same emptiness at the start of this year, I was at lost too and asked, “Why, Again?”. I got myself to tears and I would pray the same lines I did 5 years ago
I thought I was done with it.

I have goals everyday, I’d still get excited to go to work but then, there is something missing that I can’t explain.

FOCUS

The same written words I told myself last year and I thought I lost it again. I realize when you lose that focus, you will lose your direction as well. You’d be in limbo; in crossroads and you don’t know where to go and you’d wander.

And that’s what I discovered. That every time I’d feel lost, I have to focus on what I want rather than contemplating on the past and thinking of some things I don’t have any control.

Life is like a Ferris wheel as they say. Sometimes, you’d see the overview of things underneath but there are times, you have to look up and see what’s happening above you and try to reach the top again. I realize that I should never stop dreaming and aim for the best. Because if I stop, I’d just go back to the same old me that I never wanted to be anymore. There should never be complacency and we are not destined to realize everything. That’s what surprises are for. 

I think at some point, I would still go back to that same old feeling of emptiness but one must always remember the power of focus for us to get back on track.

Why Should We Love Uncertainties

“Blur”
“No Direction”
“Lost”

These are the words that comes to mind when you hear the word “Uncertainties”. Its fearsome and connotes nothingness; no assurance. If I should describe it as a color. It should be color gray. You’re not sure if its black or white.

Imagine standing in a road with 2 ways in front of you- the left and the right. When you are uncertain, that is the place you’re at. Why should you love it? Because you were given the chance to choose which is which. Should you go right? or should you go left? It’s your call.

It maybe blur but there is a chance of seeing the light after you have chosen which path to take. All you need is the courage to choose after exploring your options. Sometimes, you even have to take risks.

Never underestimate what God is in store for you. Let’s see the light in uncertainty and all we have to do is keep an open mind and an open heart. Don’t forget to see the bright side in every darkness. Keep a positive mind.