Two Types Of Journal

…because I rant not, neither rave of what I feel, can you be so shallow as to dream that I feel nothing? ” R.D. Blackmore

Sometimes, people thought you never had any problems because you always smile, bring good vibes and would always be cool even in heated situations. But in reality, no one was spared of any problems. For girls, depression may even be hormonal, that no matter how much you tried your best, you’d still feel stuck and felt like crying.

That is why, I have two types of journal. My happy journal and my ranting journal. Happy journal would be the blog that I maintain while the ranting blog is just a spare notebook that I can throw any time.

Why do you need to have those two types of journal?

Sometimes, you have nobody to entrust your feelings to. Your friends are busy with their lives; you just don’t want to disturb them and unfortunately, at times, you’d be left alone. When you’re faced with a problem, sometimes, all you need is to just let it out. That is the exact explanation why social media has been an avenue for the said rantings.

How many times have we read nasty exchange of ranting posts in Facebook from our friend list? How many times have they left you wondering, what the hell is happening to that friend of yours? Sometimes, when faced in an awkward scene, you’d immediately get your phone and type a simple word of frustration in twitter – I am so guilty of it too.

But, social media platforms shouldn’t be the right place to write all your temporary feelings. Yes, those problems and depression that you are feeling are just temporary. After awhile, once you’ve let it out, you’d feel better. But, since you’ve posted it somewhere, while all your friends have read it, it will become a topic of gossip in your circle of friends, in your office, school or your parents might even worry about how you are doing. Where in fact, you just let it out of you.

Have you ever felt that feeling when you just deleted what you have posted because you ain’t feeling that same tension after a few hours of posting it?

Anger can let you do a lot of stupid things. Maybe not only anger. Even frustrations and disappointments toward something or someone. 

That is what your ranting journal is all about. Sometimes, negative vibes is too much to handle. But do not let these feelings control you. You must be the one in control.

As what they said, if you are angry, count from 1 to 10, if it’s not enough, count until 100. Words posted in any social account can mean a lot to others and may then be misinterpreted by others. If your feelings are too much to handle, just write it down in your ranting journal.

On the other hand, keeping a happy journal can make a difference too. This is the journal that you can read over and over again because it contains happy memories.

Remember, writing what you feel is like taking a picture – it becomes a memory. What type of memory do you want to remember? A feeling of frustration or a Happy one? It’s your choice.

Happy or sad

Be Fearless to Commit Mistakes

Erase your mistakes

Because of our fear to commit mistakes, we tend to stay on the safe side of the road. We’d rather be at the gutter and be safe, than cross the road and discover what is in the other side of the world.

This being “safe” isn’t only about the fear of the unknown but also the fear of committing something that we can not control.

We could also be afraid of criticisms and what would other people perceive about us.

I had always admired bold and daring people because they have the guts to just be themselves in front of other people regardless of what others might think about them. They are so secure that even hurtful comments wouldn’t matter to them, as if they are invincible.

Sometimes, this fear can also equate to inactivity. We’d rather do nothing than risk the chance of being heard and making a difference because of this fear of committing mistakes.

Mistakes could also mean failure. Aside from public humiliation, personal disappointments and frustrations, failure because of your mistakes, could be very disheartening too. That’s why it’s very understandable that we would really fear committing one.

Nevertheless, failure can never be fatal. We can always move on from it every time and at the same time, we move on with accompanying new lessons and learning from that experience.

As long as you have anchored your values and you always do things according to what you think is right, then failing may be very difficult as first but you can always move forward and start all over again.

They say there are 3 ways to learn:
1. Through Books and School
Where the Do’s and Don’ts are presented to you the traditional way.

2. Through Other People’s Experiences/ Mistakes
You’d be inspired by how other people manage their lives and of course, you can learn from them.

3. Through Your Own Experiences/ Mistakes
This is the most difficult but this will give you your most valued learning. This will have the best impact in your life and will allow you to learn big time.

That’s why no matter how your books and your school will try to teach you, experience will always be your best teacher.

Why Become the Best Version of Yourself

I’ve always dreaded regrets.
Every time I had some, I can’t seem to find that “peace of mind”.

A silhouette of a young girl on rock at sunset 1

It felt like becoming an incomplete being.
We will only live once and we must savor this time that was given to us. No matter how many lives we may have, if we won’t put our utmost importance and care to it, it won’t make any difference and we will always end up frustrated and unfulfilled.

Getting up with a goal in mind is one thing I still try to work on and is one of the lists I hope to do and get used to, to become that version of me that I will be proud of.

But, why do you need to be the best version of yourself?

Because everyone hates regrets.

Ever since I stumble upon this article:
The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
I started to work on my life.

How can I make it more lively? More interesting and most importantly, How can I make it worth living?

Creating a life with purpose will remain the puzzle that I need to solve. We may live 80, 50, 30 years and even shorter. We will NEVER know what our timeline will be. Nevertheless, we must always prepare ourselves.

Did I become the best version of myself today?

Or did I choose to WASTE the life that was given to me?

It’s time to think about how our lives are turning. No one will know yourself better than you do (supposedly). Reflect. Observe and Act on it.

Become the best version of yourself. Regardless. No if’s; No but’s.

What is Next After College Graduation?

Four years ago, I finished up a degree in Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I have high hopes in life and hoping to land for a life that my parents have patterned for me. Unfortunately, things didn’t go the way they were planned and I started to be frustrated.

Is life suppose to be this hard? I think so.

So here are the checklists I have provided for newly grads peeps out there who are still in bliss and are taking their time off after grad. If you are still not sure of what to do with your life, might as well think about it this early before it’s too late.

1. Contemplate on what you love to do.

Do what you love and everyday is a holiday – Paulo Coehlo

This is so true! Money is not everything. Money can give you happiness when used correctly but if this is your only motivation, the happiness is temporary. You can get tired easily, age more and there is more tendency of health breakdown. You wouldn’t want to work and spend them on your medicines and other health issues right?

As early as now, find that thing that you love and learn how to improve and enhance it so you can earn a living from it.

2. Learn how to decide on your own.

It’s time to say goodbye to your mom’s decision making skills and start to develop your own. You may listen to their opinions but always remember, the last words should still come from you. At the end of the day, it’s your life and not theirs.

3. Take Risks

When you are younger, you are innocent and ignorant of all the negative things in the world. And so, younger people are risky and they seek adventure. Use that into your advantage. If you are not contended with what you have, explore, take risks. Better do stupid things now than regret it in the future.

Learn from one mistake to another. Learn how to bounce back after failure. Never be afraid to fail at least you have tried your best. Experience will still be the best teacher.

4. Have a Goal for the Next 5 Years.

This must have been one of my regrets in my life. I forgot to set a goal for the next 5 years and when I graduated. Sure, I have tried many things, failed once in a while but I never put a time frame in it.

Make sure you have it so you can never be lost. Go from one direction to another but never set aside time especially if you are a procrastinator like me, you’ll never know that you have wasted more time that you thought. If plan A doesn’t work out, you still have letters B-Z to work on. Don’t give up.

5. Learn From other People

Look for a person who can be your idol. A person you can look up to and hope that soon, you can be like them or list down people and know what you like about them and focus on the things that you admire in them.

Chat with people who have enough experience and learn from what life have taught them.
Never be intimated with they have achieved. Ask questions, always be curious and ask them what is the best advice they can give you as a neophyte.

Remember, always be humble but never feel you are inferior for fear won’t do you any good.

Never be blinded by the negative as well. People have flaws and no one is perfect. Focus on their good side, not on their imperfections.

As early as now, know what you want to do in the future so you can have a clearer view of yourself 10,15 or 20 years from now.

Some Advice for the Younger Generations

Being a 20 plus something girl didn’t gave me the right to advise the younger generation since I still do have my own share of mistakes and frustrations. However, allow me to vent out some of my realizations about a journey called “life”.

The younger generations might not understand what I am talking about at this time of their life but just like me and any other people my age, they could probably relate to what I’m going to say.

1. Never underestimate the power of your childhood dream.

No matter which path you take, no matter how many people influence you, you would still go back to the same destination that you always dream of when you were younger. It might not be now but you will definitely ask yourself about the road you haven’t took and reflect on the “what ifs.”

Hence, go for what you really dreamed of when you are younger, if your parents can’t help you, find your own way. If there’s a will, there is a way.

2. Honor thy mother and thy father.

They won’t be there for the rest of your life. Tell them you love them and never let them feel that you take them for granted. Some people didn’t get the chance to have a mother or a father so if you still have them, consider yourself lucky.

3. Follow your heart.

If you are really passionate about something, fight for it. Don’t let others dictate on what you should do. But remember, when it comes to relationship, never be stubborn. Listen to older people. Being in a romantic relationship is not like having a best friend or playing with your barbie dolls or playing computer games, it’s something more to that. Better save it when you are more mature and already have the capacity to understand and grasp some things that better be understood by older people.

4. Take it slow, don’t rush into things.

Fall in love but never fall deeply in love. You might mistaken lust to love. Don’t rush to grow up. You will never be 16 years old again. Savor every moment with your friends because, you won’t have enough time with them when you grow up. Never be angry when your mom asks you where you are because, you will miss that when you’ll be older.

5. Don’t sit in front of your computer the whole day.

Instead of stalking on other people’s lives, get up and make your own story. Let them read yours not the other way around. You have more things to do rather than logging into your Facebook account.

6. Take as much Pictures as possible.

More than tagging your friends and posting it on Facebook, taking pictures will allow you to see how much you have grown in the next 5 years or so. Pictures are captured memories that you can’t erase and you’d love to look back and reminisce.

7. Enjoy

Always be happy. If someone is making you sad and doesn’t treat you right, stand up and get the hell out. You deserve to enjoy your youth.

8. Learn from other people’s mistakes

Sometimes, we have to consider how other people have failed and must not follow what they did. However, always follow your guts and intuition and never let this fear of failure blind you to jump in and take risk.

9. Don’t Be Shy. Explore.

Join the drama club, church choir, go around your neighborhood, find friends, never be afraid to speak out.
Ask questions, Don’t confine yourself in the four corners of your house, play with your friends and try to meet more people. Even if you are young, you still have the right to be heard.

10. Be a Role Model. Be a leader. It’s a good training ground. The real battle will come after school so be prepared.