A few years back, I have dreaded the word “boring”. The time I utter that word, I’ll find myself sitting in a bar with my friends; liquor in hand. If not, I’ll go somewhere and find myself wandering around places I haven’t been to.
Most of my mistakes took place when I was bored. The moment I find myself saying it, I suddenly became enrage of how dull my life is.
“I need excitement!”
“I must go to **where ever place**!“
” I have to do this, I have to do that!”
Most of my decisions that spur out of my boredom to life are usually reckless. I used to be careless with what I say and do. If I want it, I’d definitely get it. If not, I’ll find my way to get it.
But, in the end, those impulsive decisions were the main things that has caused regrets in my life.
Those boring nights taught me to drink, party, lie to my parents and just be a total lost. That’s the time I drag myself to be just like the rest. Maybe, teenagers were expected to be like that. Because we are still at the verge of discovering ourselves.
I went to places where I shouldn’t be, I’ve done things I shouldn’t be doing and I became someone I thought was “me”. But somehow, they say, “You can never be wise and old without being young and stupid”
Though at this age, I’m not yet considered old but somehow, I realized how stupid I was back then. Sometimes, you really have to be lost so you can find yourself. I may not know 100% of myself right now, but everyday is a learning process to know myself better and what is in my heart.
Unknowingly, this dullness that I felt somehow gave me peace. Though my life could be boring to others, I couldn’t be any happier.
I am contented, I am blessed and most of all, I am taking control of my life.
This is the reason why I am embracing this personality of mine.
“The best way to be happy is to be just yourself.”
When I’m at home, I don’t usually talk as well. But, don’t get me wrong. When that urge of talking comes out of me, then, I will. But, it’s not all the time. Sometime, I just want to be in my room: read a book, write and that’s it. My weekend is over and the next time I know, it’s already Monday.
I’d love to go around places and travel but I seldom do that because sometimes, I’d still choose to be in the comfort of my own home and spend time with my family.
There are things I’d rather not do because that isn’t who I am.
Just like the rest, they have their own “self” and no matter how weird, boring or unflattering yourself is, “Being someone else is a waste of who you really are.”