This is what keeps me going. More than money, people and environment.
After a few jobs I have had for the last 5 years, at last, I’ve got what will make me stay. It’s a long tedious process of discovery.
This time, I’ve realized that as long as I am learning something new everyday and I am continuously moving, the more it is for me to stay. Who would have thought about it? Even me didn’t realized it and took me 5 different jobs just for me to realize.
Looking back, I thought routine is what I needed to stay; just like my mom who worked in the same company for the last 30 years. But, I was totally wrong. I realized that though she worked in the same company, she never stopped moving form one department to another. She had travelled before, been in and out of the country and most importantly, she is continuously moving and learning.
I thought that if I establish myself in a work that I am so interested in, it will be enough. Unfortunately, I was wrong. It didn’t made me stay. I easily get bored and somehow, variety and change is still what I long for. Maybe, I keep on looking for that “surprise” factor every single day.
It wasn’t my unemployment too that made me resent my life too – It was stagnation.
I stopped learning and I may not stopped reading but it was the lack of “action” that made me felt unproductive thus the reason for this “quarter life crisis” that I felt a few years back.
Being on my own and at least doing “something” is very important for me. Challenging myself is also necessary for me to be alive and be excited every single day. This is what I’ve avoided for the last years because of this dreading feeling that I have to get over with : FEAR, thinking I will be at peace.
Yes, it was peaceful, but I felt so incomplete and not being totally myself.
Now, I am embracing change, challenges and most of all, my taste for variety.