Guest Post: How to Find the Love of Your Life… in Yourself

Written by: Jessica Conars
Jess1Loving yourself is not a sign of being selfish – it means that you recognize your personal value.

The most important person in your life is You. You have to realize that you deserve love and that love starts from you. You reflect the way people treat you. When you are filled with doubts and troubles, you sometimes might feel like you are stuck in a hole, from which you can’t get out.

Most people have been taught not to be selfish. But we aren’t taught that it isn’t being selfish when we feel love for ourselves – it only recognizes our value. When we realize our personal value, our life will turn into a floating river which will wash away our doubts and troubles.

I Love Me Stock Photography - Image: 30273592

People are often being too harsh to themselves. We often fill ourselves with negative thoughts for ourselves without even realizing it sometimes. Some of those thoughts and words could even be something that we don’t actually believe to be connected with us, we might have just heard it as a comment about us years ago. We can change this. The first step is to realize them and the second is replacing them with kind and loving words and thoughts.

Sometimes the negative thoughts we have can seem too strong, but if you are patient enough and spend some time on helping yourself, you can replace them. If you choose your thoughts carefully, instead of letting the negative ones to enter your mind freely, the positive ones can become stronger. You will be able to see how your life will quickly change by eliminating your negative thoughts one by one.

Here is an easy exercise. To prepare for it, you will have to think of:

1. Someone you love entirely: It can be anyone – your best friend, husband/wife, child, brother or sister – just think about them and your heart will warm up.

2. Something that you blame yourself for. It can be a failed attempt to lose weight or your difficulties in finding a financial stability; it could be the fact that you always postpone things are a problem in your relationship. We all have something that bothers us and we like being critical about, so just think about it.

Now that you have finished the two tasks above, it is time for the real exercise, which is based on 5 steps:

1. Spend a few seconds to concentrate on your breathing. You shouldn’t change the way you breath – just notice it. That will help you to feel like you are entirely here and you are present in this particular moment.

2. Think of the person that you love. Remember how it feels like having them around and talking to them.

3. Now imagine that the person whom you love starts talking about the problem you have chosen to think about. Our loved one has come to us, because of the love between you and them and because they need an advice for the same problem that you are having.

4. Imagine yourself giving a sincere heart-to-heart answer. When we truly love someone we become able not to judge them. We know that their problem is not so big as it seems, and we are able to comfort your loved one and to show them that we support and love them.

5. Now it is time to apply that advice in your own situation. That will help you face and overwhelm your challenges little by little.

You need to start treating yourself the way you treat the person you love most! Why not give yourself the same love and respect that you would give others? You deserve unconditional love; and when you look deep inside your soul, you will realize that you know this. You will be able to smile and be happy about yourself!

Submitted by: Paula Sheamus 


A professional writer and freelance blogger who recommended her cousin’s (Jessica) works.

Author Bio: Jessica Conars really loves her family and try to spend more time with it. She is working at  and that is why she has enough time for her family.