Just like everyone else, I struggled so long to find what I really wanted to do and until now, it keeps on changing and nothing has been constant in my life ideas.
It has been a long walk.
It wasn’t easy. I was mediocre and I had really struggled and prayed hard for it.
I kept looking for it on the outside. Comparing myself to everyone else in the room, looking for role models and trying to become them in some ways.
I never thought of looking and searching for it within me.
I tried to look for that uniqueness that I can offer and stick with it.
But, how did I finally said, “Yes, this is what I really want and this is who I am.”
I imagined myself 60 years from now. (I’ll be 85 years old by then)
If I’m still alive, I know that I’ll be very weak physically and I will be a neglected individual already because I’d be incapable of doing things by myself and can be considered a liability to others.
It’s kinda depressing for I don’t want to be perceived as “useless”. Nevertheless, it’s a part of life that one should accept.
I just thought, at that age, “What could I be thinking and what could I be doing?”
Things started to set it.
I wanted to write a lot of things and when that time comes, I’ll re read them over and over again. (And thus, the birth of this blog).
One thing I want to achieve by then: I don’t want to regret anything.
By imagining it, I have seen what my heart truly desires and what kind of story would I like to look back and what kind of life would I like to create now, so, by that time, I can just be happy reminiscing them.
By then, I told myself “Don’t fool yourself with outward pride and society’s standard of success. Just do your own genius.”
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