That Fearful Walk

Around a year ago, my then office mates went to Philipp’s Sanctuary in Antipolo City (Philippines) for our team building, it must have been an ordinary time for them but not for me.

The Log Walk

I don’t know how to swim and I don’t know how to cross that log.
It was one of my most unforgettable feeling in my whole life (as of today).

Some may think I exaggerate because the river doesn’t seem to be so deep and looks just ordinary.
But during that time, I was so damn SCARED.
My legs was shaking as I was walking towards the middle part.

I initially thought I can do it without any hardship but as I move towards the least supported part which is the middle area, the log started to shake and so am I.

I was so nervous and I was trying to shrug my fear by shouting, thinking I can release it through my voice but of course, it was no use.
I was in the middle of a shaking log, in the center of a lagoon (I don’t know how deep the water is) without any support and I know, right then and there,  I can die.
As I’ve said, I don’t know how to swim and though I have a life vest with me, I still don’t want to give in and I’m so determined to cross that shit.

One by one.
One little step at a time.
Shake after shake.
Heartbeat after heartbeat.

Yes, I was scared, I fear the unknown and at the same time, I hate NOT to FINISH that road.
I’m so sure I can do it but that time, I almost gave up and just drown myself in the river.

But, to make the long story short, I did it!
After a grueling 20 minutes, (my estimate) that seemed like a lifetime for me, I was able to finish it and cross the other line.
Yes, I found victory.

Fast forward to this year, I still can’t forget that same feeling because somehow that is how I face my life.
Though I have the confidence that I can face any challenge that life has to offer me, towards the middle, I was shaken , lost all hope and I can say that sometimes, I want to give up and submit myself to failure.

But, somehow, as much as I could, I’ll try to get what I want and just wanted to get those things done.

Combating fear.
It has never been easy.
Nevertheless, in the end, it’s just so worth it.